Low Self-Confidence Counselling

You can define self-confidence as your trust in your expertise about what you can do and what you cannot do. It is the ability to have comfort in knowing that you can do well in a particular task. Often self-confidence and self-esteem are used interchangeably, but they are different terms with different meanings.

Self-esteem is your overall belief in your self-worth whereas self-confidence is an individual’s expectations of performance and self-evaluations of abilities by taking into consideration how they performed in the past.

Having high self-confidence translates to having better outcomes. Greater self-confidence means that you trust yourself and are free from self-doubt and negative expectations about yourself. High self-confidence determines your success as you can take more risks and be able to move out of your comfort zone.

What is Low Self-Confidence?

On the contrary, having low self-confidence can do equal harm by making sure we don’t move forward in life. Low self-confidence means you do not trust yourself to perform and do not possess the confidence to stand up yourself and take risks where necessary. That being said, it is important to note that no one is born with a fixed amount of confidence. Life circumstances can often put us in undesirable conditions that can make us doubt our abilities. Fortunately, like many other skills, confidence can be learned, practiced, and thus improved with time.

Occasionally, we all sometimes fail in certain tasks. Feeling weak under such circumstances does not mean you have low self-confidence. To understand better what low self-confidence is, let’s take a look at some symptoms.

How to find a Low Self-Confidence Therapist

If you are looking to find the perfect Low Self-Confidence therapist it is crucial to make sure that they have the appropriate qualifications, knowledge and experience. At Expat Therapy 4U we only accept therapists who have full professional proficiency in English and are highly experienced in working with people from culturally diverse backgrounds. The clinicians we approve share our values and commitment to provide high quality therapy to the expatriate community in the private sector across Europe and online worldwide. We strongly believe that therapy changes lives, and being accredited ensures all our therapists are qualified to a high standard. You can find a Low Self-Confidence therapist who is insured to practice and accredited with a recognised membership body online here.

Signs of Low Self-Confidence

The following are some common signs that could indicate you suffer from low self-confidence.

  • During disagreements, you back down to please the other person and try your best to avoid conflict.
  • You fear prior to a certain task that you will fail and won’t do well despite working hard.
  • You give up on your goals and dreams too quickly.
  • You fear taking risks and often miss opportunities because of the anxiety of not doing well.
  • You feel as if you do not deserve or are incapable of having more.
  • You have unrealistic standards for your strengths and weaknesses.
  • You do not feel comfortable asking for help or support.
  • Not having coping mechanisms to deal with fears and doubts.
  • You have difficulty making your own choices.

It is important to note that low self-confidence does not mean that you do not prosper in all areas of your life. You may have excellent math abilities and you usually prosper in them, but in particular areas such as cooking, you may not believe in yourself. So, in this regard, you may have high self confidence in some areas and low self confidence in other areas of your life.

Causes of Low Self-Confidence

Many factors can contribute to having low self-confidence and it is not always your fault. Here are some common causes of low self-confidence.

  • Genes and temperament can affect the amounts of certain confidence-boosting chemicals in the brain. Therefore, some aspects of our behavior stem from our genetic makeup and overall temperament.
  • Having undergone trauma such as sexual or emotional abuse, neglectful and toxic parents, bullying, harassment and humiliation, gender, sexual and racial distinctions can all have a huge impact on our sense of confidence in our abilities.
  • Perfectionism and a sense of misinformation regarding what actually being confident is can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
  • Having mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression can also stand in our way of performing our best.

Treatments for Low Self-Confidence

Fortunately, no one is born perfect and almost everyone can develop better self-confidence with some habits, strategies, and mindsets.


Psychotherapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy is the most researched and well-versed treatment for overcoming low self-confidence. It is a brief, problem-focused, and effective form of treatment that is concentrated on achieving lasting results.

CBT helps a person overcome their irrational and negative thinking behaviors by identifying their distorted thinking patterns and most importantly, teaching them ways with which they can think better of themselves and their abilities to excel in life.

A CBT course includes strategies such as:

  • Cognitive restructuring
  • Behavioral activation
  • Assertiveness training
  • Problem-solving training
  • Social skills training

Self-help tips for Low Self-Confidence

Other than therapy, you can use the following self-help tips to your advantage.

  • Develop self-awareness and actually start to notice the quality of thoughts you have. Are your thoughts overly detrimental, irrational, and even absurd? Whenever you catch yourself having such thoughts ask yourself, Is this kind of thinking to help me? By doing so you break the chain of negative thinking and replace them with realistic and helpful thoughts.
  • Filter negative people from your life and be assertive about what you want. Try not to obsess over what others think, instead focus on what you desire and work towards achieving that.
  • Question your inner critic and see whether all the criticism you put on yourself is even that important or not. Are your doubts and insecurities as real as they seem?
  • Practice positive self-talk and take responsibility for yourself. Often we develop a victim mentality and that keeps us from doing our part. Instead of criticizing yourself, take responsibility, and improve the areas where you lack. See what your mistakes are and practice the skills you consider useful as much as you can.

Find a Low Self-Confidence Therapist through the Expat Therapy 4U platform

Self-confidence is essential for prospering in life. Trusting in yourself is essential to evade through different obstacles life throws at us. While it may seem tricky at first, but like most other skills, with time and practice, you can improve your self-confidence. Seeking a therapist and devising an improvement plan can help you break your self-made shackles and give your best wherever you perform.

Further Readings on Low Self-Confidence


About Expat Therapy 4U

Expat Therapy 4U is the result of 5 years’ experience running The International Psychology Clinic, the first private therapy service based in London specialized in multilingual and multicultural therapy.

The platform is run by Dr Martina Paglia. Dr Martina is a leading dual qualified Clinical and Counselling psychologist who helps patients by providing bespoke psychological services including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Counselling and Psychotherapy in London and online worldwide.

Our network comprises highly qualified and experienced private therapists who have made a positive difference in the lives of thousands of expats worldwide. All members of our community are highly experienced working in cross-cultural environments.

We are passionate about delivering first-class patient-centred, safe and effective care. If you would like to work with a warm, inclusive, caring and professional English-speaking therapist in Europe or online worldwide you have come to the right place.

If you are looking for the perfect expat Therapist in Europe or online worldwide, our team is dedicated to help you find your best match. We offer a client guarantee where clients can re-book with a different therapist if they are not satisfied with their first therapy session.

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